I Don't Know Where I'm Going in Life

i don't know what to do with my life cover

Sometimes in life, you just feel stuck, and you find yourself saying, "I don't know what to do with my life."

You may be searching for a purpose, a passion that makes you feel alive. You are ready to take action, to make a change, but you just don't know which direction to go.

These steps will help you get unstuck and decide the next steps to take when you find yourself in a rut. Read on for clear steps to help you navigate the path toward a meaningful life.

Investigate: What is your life like?

"Ask the right questions and the answers will reveal themselves."
Oprah

When you find yourself in a rut, it's often unclear what needs to change. You may have a good paying job, a loving family, and supportive partner. Even when your life looks good on paper, you still feel unfulfilled. You go through the motions, but something is missing.

In some cases, change seems way too overwhelming. One problem piles on top of the next, and it feels like every day, you constantly have to put out fires. When nothing goes right, you may feel frozen and scared to make the next move.

Wherever you find yourself, it can feel confusing to pinpoint where you're at versus where you want to be. To get a clear idea of how to build a meaningful life, you first need to clarify what exactly needs to change.

So, what is your life like today?

Ask yourself some hard-hitting questions to learn where you stand right now—to find out what is working and what needs to change.

1. What would the "child you" think about the "current you"?

Every child is born like a blank slate. They behave based on their purest instincts with zero conditioning from outside influences. Children seem to fearlessly express themselves by playing, laughing, and dancing. They show up authentically and approach life with a playful attitude; everyday situations become exciting and fun!

Your inner child

Deep down inside, that inner child still exists. It is your authentic self. If you listen to that inner child, you can reconnect with your truest passions that speak to your heart, that you may have suppressed long ago.

Close your eyes. Try to think back to yourself as a child. What would that child think about the "current you"? Ask yourself:

What kind of activities did you enjoy?
How did you look at the world?
Can you think of any difficult situations that may have impacted who you are today?
What does the "adult you" want the "child you" to experience more of?
Do you hide parts of your inner child to fit in now?

2. What are the things you want to change or eliminate from your life?

Where do you stand in your life right now? You may actually have a lot of things going right, or maybe you recognize those things glaring you in the face that need to change.

Be honest with yourself. Write down a list of all the things that bring you joy and satisfaction. Then make a separate list of the areas of your life that you need to change. Consider the following:

Life habits: Do you get enough sleep, eat nutritious foods, and stay active?
Relationships: Compare people who lift you up versus toxic relationships.
Work or career path: Do you yearn to change jobs or shift your career path entirely?
Routine: Do you spend time doing the things that you love? Do you take on too much?

3. Who and what are the people you like and admire?

Having role models can inspire your direction to build a meaningful life.

Who are your role models?

Take a moment to write down a few names of people you admire. Perhaps they are people you know personally. Maybe you can think of a celebrity or public figure that inspires you.

List a few characteristics or achievements that you admire about each individual. This can reveal qualities that matter to you, and it's one of the ways you can start to uncover your own core values.

4. What inspires you?

Living a good life means more than just having your essential needs met. Deep down, we all want to feel inspired. That can mean in the work we do, the people we help, the hobbies we pursue.

You may have a ton of ideas, or none at all. When you want to know how to find your passion in life, make a list and think about:

If you could have your dream job, what would you do?
What adventures and activities intrigue you?
If you had all the time and money at your disposal, what would you do?

5. How can you serve others?

What makes people happy? A good job, a fancy car, a big house, lots of lavish vacations?

According to science, feeling happy has a lot to do with helping others. Professor of psychology, Dr. Laurie Santos, PhD., teaches the most popular course at Yale University called The Science of Well-Being and has spent her career exploring the "recipe" for happiness.

Dr. Santos' research has found that happier people tend to pay attention to the needs of others. They often participate in service-oriented activities, like giving to charity and volunteering.

How much time do you spend helping others?

Consider some ways you can participate in a cause greater than yourself. Look for something that resonates with you personally.

Whether that means supporting your community, adopting an animal, conserving the environment. These activities can bring you more purpose through serving others.

6. What have you always thought you'd do with your life?

You may already have an idea, deep down inside, of your calling. Did you have a passion that fell to the wayside because of other responsibilities? You may need to reconnect with that part of yourself in order to feel whole again.

Let's explore this question a bit more. Think about your current work situation. Ask yourself:

Why are you doing what you're doing?
Does this job feel more like a calling or a way to pay the bills?
When you close your eyes, can you imagine a dream job that calls to you?

Everyone needs to find a way to bring home the bacon. But life is too short to be stuck in a job that you hate.

You can find meaning and enjoyment in the work that you do. But it may mean taking risks and asking the right questions to move forward.

7. What do you want to do every day?

Consistency + Time = Results

You build a meaningful life based on your consistent, day-to-day habits. Consider the big dreams that you have in your heart. Now, think about what kind of daily habits will lead you to that goal.

They can even mean small things, like writing 20 minutes a day, practicing guitar, or going for a walk. Those seemingly small things can lead to big changes over time.

8. What do you want to do before you die?

Close your eyes and imagine the things you've always wanted to do in your life. Take some time to brainstorm those heart dreams and write them down.

Your list could include big goals like starting your own business, starting a family, or moving to a new city. You may consider taking on a challenge like learning a foreign language or participating in a marathon.

Your list may also include small things that you neglect for yourself. You may need to reignite your sense of adventure with a little vacation, a night out, or a change in routine.

When you don't know how to figure out what you want in life, sometimes a simple reset can give you the answers you need.

9. What scares you?

"I don't know what to do with my life," can sometimes mean, "I've been afraid to go after what I really want."

Everyone faces fear. Fear has its purpose. It protects us from dangerous situations. But fears can also result from limiting thinking that starts at a young age.

A controlling parent may yell at you too often, or a bully at school makes you feel unworthy. These fears create negative thought patterns that we carry with us through the rest of our lives. They prevent us from taking risks and living a life outside of our comfort zones.

Understanding your fears helps differentiate between rational fears and limiting beliefs. You'll learn what scares you (and for good reason).

You'll also recognize what you've been avoiding and why.

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Figure out what to do next with your life

When you yearn to find direction and purpose, you may feel overwhelmed with options and confused about which path to take.

First, learn how to deal with feeling overwhelmed and train your body and mind to react properly to stress.

Then, take these steps to illuminate the path forward and discover what you're really meant to do.

1. Examine your purpose in life

Find your purpose

Each of us has a purpose, unique gifts that only you can bring to the table, and no one else. But many people move through life without thinking about their purpose.

Some follow the prescribed path— to get good grades, get into a good school, get a good job, buy a house and start a family. Others face life circumstances and responsibilities that make it much harder to go after a big dream.

Whatever is holding you back, you can't find yourself by following a set of external expectations. When you want to know how to find your purpose in life, you have to look inwards.

That means tapping into your unique gifts, your mindset, and what you can offer in service of others for the greater good. You'll find your purpose at the intersection between what you love to do and what other people need.

2. Evaluate your life values

Your core values provide the foundation for building a meaningful life. When you identify what matters to you, your decisions and actions tend to align with those values. Some examples of core values include:

Connection
Family
Career
Status
Freedom
Creativity
Beauty
Service

Make a list of values and beliefs. Then try to narrow down that list to 3-5 core values. How does your day to day life reflect those values?

You may recognize areas of your life, like relationships, lifestyle choices, or work, that conflict with your values and need to change.

3. Analyze your strengths

Find strength

When you know your strengths, you will attract opportunities where you can really shine (and boy, does that feel good!). I define strengths as those aspects of yourself that help to reach your fullest potential.

Consider the things you do well naturally but that you can also improve through practice. Strengths can mean a skill that you frequently receive praise for doing. Think of those activities where you lose track of time. You can use tools like the DISC profile assessment to start uncovering your strengths and build upon them.

4. Examine your career choices and designation

As you explore your values and strengths, you'll begin to point your compass toward possible new directions. You may notice some obvious next steps. For example, if you value creativity and freedom, maybe you want to find a more flexible job or start your own business.

Draw a Venn diagram and identify some of your top values, interests, and strengths. Try to list five options in the middle of the Venn that relate to those aspects of yourself. Can you point out career paths or activities that might make you feel more fulfilled?

5. Assess your opportunities

Finding your why might mean a big change, like starting a new career path. Before you quit your job, do some research. Instead of jumping head first, take calculated risks and plan ahead. Look for potential career opportunities that relate to your interests. Then assess the current marketplace.

Pay attention to the following:

If it's a saturated market with a lot of competition, what would it take to stand out?
Identify niche industries where you can succeed.
Ask yourself: What kind of education or training will you need to qualify?
Do you know anyone currently working in that field who can guide you?
What's the payoff? How much would it cost to get the training to qualify versus the average pay for that line of work?

6. Explore your hobbies and passions

When you find yourself saying things like, "I don't know what to do with my life", you may immediately think of something drastic, like changing careers. But sometimes you can find a way to feel more fulfilled by incorporating hobbies and passions into your life.

What are your hobbies?

Hobbies can enrich your life and allow you to fulfill your passions. You increase your knowledge and skills through practice. You build self-esteem and confidence as you improve. You can also meet new people, depending on the activity.

Best of all, hobbies don't require a dramatic life change, like quitting your job. It might just mean an hour a week to join a martial arts class, cooking a new recipe, or surfing. Adding a hobby or two could be the simple spark of inspiration you need.

7. Take field trips and observe other people

Sometimes finding inspiration means stepping outside of your bubble. Go explore, whether it means getting more involved in your community, attending new events, or taking a trip to a new city.

Take field trips to discover what other people do for fun. For example, did you know you can now enter into competitive lightsaber fights? Or, how about the Mongol Derby, a long-distance horse race originally created by Genghis Khan in 1224? An American age 72 won a recent competition. Spice things up with new possibilities by watching what others do.

8. Read, learn, and get inspired

Today, we have so much information at our disposal—podcasts, books, TedTalks. These resources out there can open your mind to the many opportunities just waiting for you to discover. They can give you ideas for how to find your purpose.

Joey Reiman's book Thinking for a Living really inspired me during a career change. I also recommend The $100 Dollar Start-up by Chris Guillebeau, a book full of examples of how to reinvent yourself.

9. Experiment

Discovering the purpose of life is not an easy question, and each person has their own unique path. You probably have many gifts to offer the world that bring you joy. Plus, your purpose can change during different phases of life.

The answer to "I don't know what to do with my life," might be an idea you haven't tried yet.

Take a playful, open-minded approach in how to figure out what to do with your life. Become comfortable with the uncomfortable. You'll become more adaptive and invite new opportunities in your life to grow, expand, and fulfill your purpose.

Discover through experimentation

Experiment to discover what makes you feel inspired. Let go of the need to be perfect and simply try something new, even if you're lousy at first. Recognize when a path just doesn't feel right anymore, and don't feel bad if you need to walk away.

Still not sure where to begin? When you don't know how to figure out what you want in life, consider working with someone to guide you.

Our online Take Control of Your Life program gives you step-by-step guidance toward navigating change and finding your purpose. We'll help you make sense of the confusion and discover the path forward toward building a better future.